


Dress Up

by Daniscats



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 07:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11732184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daniscats/pseuds/Daniscats
Summary: The very first fan fiction I ever read was for Xena. The very first fan fiction I ever wrote was for Mass Effect. Why not combine the two?





	Dress Up

    "This is ridiculous. I'm not wearing this. I thought you said this woman was a warrior?"

    Shepard was calling out to the living room from one of the rooms off of it. Her daughters, Benezia and Jacey, were eagerly waiting for their parents to come out in their special outfits.

    "Daddy!", Benezia whined, "you promised that you would dress up for Halloween!"

    "And you promised that you would wear the outfit that we picked out for you!", Jacey added. "You're the one that got us on this in the first place. None of our friends know anything about this Halloween."

    "It's a fun human holiday. The most fun human holiday. But it's for kids, not for adults to dress up in silly outfits."

    "Come on, Daddy! Just let us see!", Benezia pleaded.

    "I look ridiculous. Is your mother out there yet?"

    "Nope. She's not here. And we promise not to laugh."  

    Shepard slowly came out, a tortured look on her face. She carried the 'sword' that came with the outfit in one hand and a metal circle in the other. Both of her present daughters laughed upon seeing her.

    "I thought you weren't going to laugh? Whose idea was this anyway? Who am I supposed to be again?"

    "Wonder Woman!", Benezia yelled out.

    "No,  Benezia", Jacey corrected her sister. "She's Xena Warrior Princess! She was a fictional hero from Earth's late 20th, early 21st century. She appeared on something called television. But her outfit does kind of look like Wonder Woman's too."

    "I'm supposed to be a warrior and yet I'm in a skimpy outfit with barely any armor? In a real battle, this outfit offers no protection whatsoever."

    "It's from your culture, Daddy. You've never heard of Xena?", Jacey asked.

    "Never. Are you sure you're not making this up?"

    "Of course not. I got interested in that period of Earth's history and read all about it. You and Mommy are Xena and her sidekick Gabrielle. They used to  travel across ancient Earth righting wrongs and fighting bad guys."

    "Just like you and Mommy!", Benezia offered.

    "If you think your outfit is ridiculous, look at mine." Liara entered the room. "And what is this stick that I'm carrying? Is this supposed to be some kind of a weapon? And why am I the sidekick?"

    "You have to be Gabrielle, she was the smart one", Jacey stated.

    "Hey!", Shepard objected.

    "I don't mean it like that", Jacey explained. "They were both smart. It's just that Gabrielle is the book-smart one. She starts out this naive young woman but she learns how to fight from Xena."

    Shepard and Liara both looked at each other.

    "Xena saves Gabrielle and then Gabrielle decides to follow Xena and Gabrielle learns to be a great fighter in her own right. And she does research and helps Xena to fight smart."

    Shepard and Liara both looked at each other again.

    "Okay, but why am I wearing these...small pieces of cloth if I am a fighter too? And people have swords, including, I assume, the 'bad guys'? These pieces of cloth will do nothing to stop a sword."

    Shepard sidled up to Liara and grabbed her around the waist, pulling Liara to her.

    "I kind of like this outfit. I think you should wear it more often."

    "Don't make me hit you with my stick, metal brassiere woman."

    "Okay." Jacey continued, ignoring her parent's antics. "I've been reading a lot of Earth history and in the 20th and early 21st century, humans were a little...backwards. There were women heroes shown on this television and in vids but they had to be beautiful and they had to wear revealing clothing."

    "They had to be sexy!", Benezia added. "I don't know what that means exactly but people say it a lot."

    "Right. Women were allowed to be heroes but only if they were attractive to human males. In the 21st century on Earth, even if a girl human was really smart and came up with really smart new ideas, her value was still judged by how good she looked."

    "That's a little simplistic, Jacey", Shepard responded. "But there is some truth to it. There is _still_ some truth to it, unfortunately."

    "And did you know, Daddy, that if you had been born 200 years earlier, you wouldn't have been able to be a soldier?"

    "Well, women could still be in the military back in 1954 in some countries.", Shepard corrected.  

    "Yes, but you wouldn't have been able to fight as a soldier. And you wouldn't have been allowed to serve where you were born, the old United States of America, until 2011 because you like other girls. And did you know that on Earth, they actually have a name for girls who like other girls? They call them lesbians."

    "I am aware of the term, yes, but it doesn't mean much anymore.", Shepard answered. "There is no stigma attached to it any longer."

    "Mom, you said that you like other asari and human women," Benezia asked, "do they call you lesbian?"

    "No." Liara smiled and shook her head. "Asari who have a preference for human women or for other asari or turian males or salarian females or anyone else are just called asari."

    "Except the ones who bond with other asari and have children with them", Shepard said defensively. "They have a much more harmful phrase for them."

    "I'm not saying that the asari aren't prejudiced as well." Liara responded. "It just seems like humans are particularly good at it."

    "Yes, and this Xena and Gabrielle were obviously in love." Jacey continued before Shepard could object. "But on this television when the show aired, they weren't allowed to show lesbians so they had to pretend that they weren't. Even though the only way the show made any sense is if it were a love story between these two women."

    "Okay." Shepard continued. "So we've had a little history lesson about how dumb humans were but why am I dressed like this again? Out of all the humans, real or fictional, from history, why did you pick these two?"

    "I just stumbled on the show and they are just like you and Mommy. Xena saved Gabrielle. Gabrielle decided to follow Xena. They fell in love and then they saved the whole world together."

    "Just like our parents!" Benezia bragged. "Only they saved the whole galaxy!"

    Both Shepard and Liara just sighed.

    "Not how it happened but any way." Shepard pulled Liara closer to her again. "Do we look like Xena and Gabrielle?"

    "Mother, where is your wig? Gabrielle had blond hair."

    "I'm not wearing that. It makes my scalp crests itch."

    "Mommy! You have to!" Benezia opined. "You don't look like a human!"

    "She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to." Shepard raised her 'sword' and struck a pose. "How do I look?"

    "You kind of look like Xena but you need bigger breasts and smaller arms", Jacey answered.

    "Well, I'm not stuffing my metal brassiere." Shepard flexed her larger than a starving run-way model's biceps. "And this is what your arms tend to look like if you are a real warrior. Lifting big guns and big swords gives you muscles."  

**Author's Note:**

> The very first fan fiction I ever read was for Xena. The very first fan fiction I ever wrote was for Mass Effect. Why not combine the two?


End file.
